I keep going back to 3/26/08 (You'll have to read that blog before you read this). I still feel betrayed and then I put it in the Creator's hands and then I feel betrayed again and then I put it in the Creator's hands... and then I feel betrayed. I can never tell when the Creator wants me to act on things and when to let him take care of things. I suppose there really isn't much for me to do in this case. I still don't know if Becca meant to move ahead with her adoption situation behind my back or not.
The whole situation has been resurfacing in the back of my head since it happened. Recently I needed someone else's take on the story so I mentioned it to my co-workers (they know Becca and the baby's family).
I told them the story... how we had been wanting to adopt, how Becca had been working with us, how she said she wouldn't mind adopting some day, how she said she'd prefer any child that came along to go to a couple, how suddenly she wasn't returning my phone calls, how suddenly she wasn't returning my e-mails, how I happened to find out about a baby girl who needed a family, how my biological mother was taking care of her at first and suddenly someone else had her, how that someone else happened to be Becca, how suddenly Becca was going ahead with adopting her.
Did I say too much??? Everyone's business on the Rez spreads like wildfire! My co-workers told me something that made me steam even more! According to Indian Child Welfare laws any child put up for adoption should go to family members FIRST. Becca told me she was related to the baby.... but my co-workers told me that she really isn't due to that someone in her family being adopted! That means that she's only related to the child by adoption... and I'm more closely related to the baby! They also said that if the family of the baby knew about us they would probably want us to take the baby. .... sigh...
Before I get too fired up... I have to step back and put it in the hands of the Creator. Maybe my putting a bug in someone else's ear wasn't a good idea... but I needed more takes on the story. They both agreed that it all sounded fishy.
I keep thinking about that baby girl...
...but I will continue to keep the faith
and know that
whatever that is meant to be