Hi Ho! Kermit the Frrrog here reporting to you from Sadie's world!

Ok... well... its been awhile since I've been on this blog in a sane and sober frame of mind! Not that I drink all the time... its just that my real sad feelings seep out after a night of Jack 'n Cokes (Alcohol IS a depressant afterall!) and my need to express them to someone other than the drunk at the end of the bar sends me to my blog.

A little insight as to what those last two entries were about: I had mentioned to my friend Mike that Ethan and I were going through fertility problems and that we started the journey of figuring that out. It was towards the end of the night when everyone started getting sleepy and started crashing on various couches. So during our conversation Mike kept saying how we would be wonderful parents, we deserved a kid, why are there shitty parents out there when awesome ones were childless...blah blah blah. Those statements annoy me sober and bring out my grumpy feelings... I'm sure you can imagine them magnified by the booze! Well, my happy drunk self quickly turned to the depressed one. I excused myself abrubtly and staggered into the computer room to write. ... My words couldn't come out clearly so I just typed a response to all his obvious statements! Then, of course, I balled my eyes out before going to bed. Hey, at least I wasn't drunk dialing an ex boyfriend!!! Haha!!

Well, a little update... I feel like Kermit the Frog reporting the news. "HI HO!"

Well, ok, it will have to be a big update since I haven't been on here in so long! Ummmm where to start???
No kid. Sorry to disappoint you. BUT this just in... a little lead in the adoption story.

I had made a Myspace page a few years ago and in my profile, I stated that we were a native american couple seeking to adopt a native child. I put all our interests and background info on there (omitting our names of course). I kind of forgot about it because I didn't get any friend requests in 3 years! A couple months ago I decided to check it out on a whim and found that this young girl requested to be-friend me. I was VERY intrigued.
A few generic messages were sent back and forth and then I finally had to ask her why she wanted to be-friend me. Apparently, this girl is native, pregnant, and can't take care of her child. She can't find anyone to take the baby but her friend happened to see my page! I admit, even though my senses were telling me to remain calm and in my seat, I really wanted to do Balki's 'Dance of Joy' from the TV show Perfect Strangers!!!
We chatted back and forth through Myspace messages. Let's call her Bree. I found out Bree was 16 and had big plans for her future. She said if she had a baby now she wouldn't be able pursue her dreams. She loved poetry, singing in her band, and reading. I showed my husband her pictures and we both agreed that she was an exceptionally beautiful girl. I mean, beautiful black eyes, lovely smile and pretty long hair. I looked at her hands and wondered if her child would have the same delicate fingers.
I let myself take a glimpse into the (possible) future and wondered what her baby would look like grown up. I pictured myself going to ceremonies and finally being one of the mothers bouncing and hushing a child gently while all the little girls surrounded him/her for a peek. I pictured him/her 5 years from now learning how to dance.
Then, without letting myself get too carried away, my mind shoved me back into the present and told me to be realistic! Who knows WHAT will happen!?! This girl could be joking for all we know! It could be some twisted attention seeking behavior. I decided to just take the time to get to know one another. No harm in doing that, right? She proved to be a rather intellegent girl with realistic goals for her future.

More pictures were sent, dreams were shared, family stories were relayed. She said her family liked my profile and that she thought we seemed very nice. She really liked the information I sent her about what kind of family we would be. I told her about my family and Ethan's. She liked the fact that we had big birthday parties every time someone's came up. Would we add a new birthday party to the list? Finally, a glimpse of sunrise! ...just a glimpse, but I'll take it.

So... that is the latest scoop.

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