So Ethan didn't form an angry mob and march down to Becca's house afterall. After I came home from my cry he asked if I was OK. (As if my puffy eyes didn't give me completely away!) I felt like a little girl when I couldn't form the word "no" and instead, shook my head slowly while staring at the television. He gave me a hug and squeezed my hand. "Maybe in the back of my mind I just don't want to share you... (pause)... but I want what you want." It was sweet and I felt better.I don't know why I feel this great urge to do a little detective work about this Becca woman. The grapevine on the rez is extensive and it wouldn't take long to get all the details. First she's all gung-ho about helping me become a mother... then suddenly she doesn't return my calls or e-mails.... and then I find out she took a baby in for herself that is related to my own family! (Indian Child Welfare Act states that family gets children in need of homes first). Something sounds shady. REAL shady.
I told my sister-in-law this story and she agreed. She works at the health clinic for Ethan's tribe and deals with child welfare, etc. Though she could be classified as someone a bit in the background of things, she still knows people to contact. She's going to contact a woman who deals with child cases who also knows Becca. I just wanna know what is going on. Even though I agree with Ethan in that I shouldn't REACT based on the little info I have... there is st
ill this instintive voice inside me saying, "You know what Becca! Don't fuck with me!" I e-mailed her once again. In my e-mail I played dumb. I wondered why she hadn't returned my e-mails. I also said that I heard about my biologial mother not being able to take care of a baby in the family and wondered if she knew anything about it! I told her to let me know if there was anything we could do to help. So far, no answer... but that was only 2 days ago. In the meantime, I'll gather up my spies. My puffy eyes are gone and now its time for the cat in me to go on the prowl.
ill this instintive voice inside me saying, "You know what Becca! Don't fuck with me!" I e-mailed her once again. In my e-mail I played dumb. I wondered why she hadn't returned my e-mails. I also said that I heard about my biologial mother not being able to take care of a baby in the family and wondered if she knew anything about it! I told her to let me know if there was anything we could do to help. So far, no answer... but that was only 2 days ago. In the meantime, I'll gather up my spies. My puffy eyes are gone and now its time for the cat in me to go on the prowl. I just can't help thinking about that baby.
By the way... its a go for the turkey baster proceedure tomorrow.
1 comment:
Good luck tomorrow! I hope it's not too uncomfortable and that you get some answers. As I mentioned before, I think, mine was basically painless. A little odd feeling, and definitely not something you'd sign up for for amusement, but not bad.
I also hope you get some answers on the Becca/baby front.
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