May your cup runneth over... with good swimmers.

October 17, 2007
Well...
I made an appointment for Ethan, per St. Nick the OBGYN, to have a seminalysis done this Friday morning at 9:15. They said he could either do it here, at home, or in the office. I think, to him, its one of those, "well... gotta do what ya gotta do" -type of things.
When it comes to medical things he is pretty much in the dark. He gets a cold and he's asking me to write his eulogy! He gets very concerned over little things - like, when I was taking my basal temp in the morning he was all concerned, "What's wrong??" He's sweet. I can't imagine what he'd be like if I actually DO get pregnant and the times comes to deliver! Would he freak out?!? Would he be able to handle it?!??
I was watching the show "Birth Day" on the Discovery Health channel where it showed a live birth. Ethan walked into the room just as the baby splat out - all bloody, etc. I laughed when he said, "Uggggg!!!! I didn't know they came out all bloody! That's gross!" He promptly left the room. Wait a minute! Was he one of those kids in health class who had to leave the room during the birthing videos????? What am I in for?
I'm wondering if he wants to be minimally involved. I mean, he'd do anything for me when it comes down to it... but I wonder if deep inside he's thinking, "Ok, well this is a woman thing. Go to it sport! Do what you gotta do! I'm there for ya honey! Ummm ... I'll be over here." I wish all I had to do was jerk off into a cup! How easy would that be?!?!???
This is a shot in the dark for me. I have no idea what I'm getting into! What the hell have I started?!?! Don't get me wrong, I really want kids... definitely!!! Its just pretty scary to think about... and I think he's more scared than he lets on.

Side Note:
It would be cool to give birth in the same area my ancestors gave birth. This whole city used to belong to us back in the day. I didn't grow up on a reservation. I was adopted and grew up in the suburbs. A street over from the one I grew up on is built over a very old Indian Village site. I love walking on that street because I feel a closeness to the people that onced existed there... my relations. I wonder how many births took place in that village. As the snow melts during springtime I take strolls over to the site and wonder if those ancient souls are watching me. It would be great to take a stroller some day with my own child... and be able to tell her/him whats under the ugly cookie cutter housing development.
At any rate, I'd say I'm optimistic.